Tuesday, April 21, 2015

10 Things To Say To Your Infertile Friend

Photo by Don Harder, Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/dharder9475/
When my husband and I were dating, we went to visit his grandmother. She is the sweetest, tiniest little Texan grandma you can imagine. The entire time we were there, she didn't call me by my first name once. She was so fearful that she would accidentally call me by the name of his ex (our names are very similar). I wasn't hurt by this in the least because I knew her intention was to avoid an awkward situation and potentially hurting my feelings. After some time she dropped the "hers" and "sweethearts" and "darlings" and adopted using my name. It still makes me smile to think of it.

This got me to thinking, how many people have read the "Things not to say to an infertile couple" posts online and decided that rather than put their foot in their mouth, they would keep it shut? Let's face it, reproductive issues and infertility can be a bit of a tricky minefield.

Infertility can feel isolating, especially from the fertile friends and family you love. So rather than tell people what not to say, I thought I'd post the things that people have said to me that I have loved:
  • I want to be supportive, but don't know how. Tell me how I can. (Take the honest and direct approach)
  • I love you and I'm sorry you have this struggle. (Simplicity at its best)
  • I'm thinking of you/praying for you during your treatment.
  • I'm rooting for you! (everyone loves a cheerleader)
  • Thank you for sharing what you're going through with me. (when you leave yourself emotionally open, this one means so much)
  • Can I keep you company at an appointment/pick up your prescription for you/ bring over dinner when you're on bedrest? (make yourself available to be a present supporter if your friend needs it)
  • I'm excited for your future!
  • You will be an awesome mommy/parents.
  • Do tell your friend when you are expecting, but deliver the news in email so they can deal with the emotions privately. We're happy for you, but it still hurts and reminds us of our scars. 
  • Don't "say" anything. Give a hug, provide chocolate, treat your friend to a pedicure and a People magazine. :)
Bottom line, just start talking. Be honest and reach out to the ones you love who are struggling.


Infertility impacts 1 in 8 couples of reproductive age and can be a very isolating disease to face. If you aren't in the trenches of this fight, 1 in 8 is someone you know. If you are one of the 1 in 8, know that you are not alone. RESOLVE, the national infertility association, can provide support and resources. They also work tirelessly on behalf of the infertility community to bring awareness to the disease and educate our legislators and insurance companies. I'm here too! Contact me if you need an ear, or have questions that you aren't comfortable posting. I am so thankful that we live in an age where there are multiple family building options available and hope that all the parents-to-be find their path.

18 comments:

  1. I absolutely love this post, sharing it on Twitter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i already gave up on ever getting cured of HSV2 because i have try many treatment none of them work out for me i have go to different hospital they always tell me same thing there is no cure for herpes when i came across a post about Dr ohunyom, in the net from a lady called Angela i contacted him and he reassured me with him herbal medicine which i took according to the way he instructed, that how i was cured. I doubted at first because i have been to a whole lot of reputable doctors, tried a lot of medicines but none was able to cure me. so i decided to listen to him and he commenced treatment, and under two weeks i was totally fee from #Herpes. i want to say a very big thank you to DR ohunyom for what he has done in my life. feel free to leave him a message on email drohunyom@gmail.com and also WhatsApp him +2349060579973..
      He can still be able to help you with this herbs medicine:
      1...ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILESY/HPV CURE/LUPUS/HEPATITIS/CANCER/GOUT  

      Delete
  2. I would like to share my personal experience in this field. Some time ago I was ready to give everything for the opportunity to become a mother. Biologically I am now my baby mother. I have no eggs and due to cancer and I lost my uterus. I had no variants. Since I am from Hungary surrogacy is illegal here. We started looking for variants abroad, here a cost varies greatly. After reviewing a large number of clinics, we contacted native iyabasira native clinic They offered an ‘all inclusive’ package that we were very happy with, as we were only focused on winning. And it is much cheaper than somewhere else and we were surprised with conditions and attitude to us. After 1.5 years we became parents. And it is pricelessly. this is mother iya herbs works, email info (nativeiyabasira@yahoo.com) In such cases her herbs is a real solution to become a happy mum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Name is Faith, and am really grateful and thankful for what Dr voodoo
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      got mine, add Dr voodoo on whatsApp: +2348140120719 or just contact Dr
      voodoo via email, voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com

      Delete
    2. Life has not been so easy for me, i almost gave up on getting cured of HSV2 because i have tried many treatment and still don't work for me, so i was going place to place just for me to search for herbs cure or any solution to my problem and i also have three kids to take care of, that same period my husband die in an accident on it way coming home so life was very tough for me, so when i was going through the herbs site to find a cure for my problem i saw a story about a lady testify about DR.Imoudu, so i said to my self let me give a try to see if my problem can be solved, because i have spend alot of money In the hospital and their was no cure for it, so i contacted DR.Imoudu that afternoon of it and he gave me instruction how i will go about it and he sent me a herbal medicine which I took according to the way he instructed me to do. After taking the medicine for two weeks i saw a changes on my body, then i called the Dr and told him about it and he said i should go for test. i can't believe when my result came out it was negative, i was very happy to share this great testimony to the world there is real cure for #herpes you can also contact DR.Imoudu Email: DR.IMOUDUHEALERTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM also WhatsApp him +2348109609753..
      He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases;
      Diabetes, Lupus, Gout, Hepatitis A,B, Infertility, HIV/AIDS, CANCER, WART,ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILEPSY/HPV CURE/LOOSE WEIGHT AND BODY/EX-BACK/stroke


      Delete
    3. Herpes cure with the help of herbal medication for herpes and hpv cure should contact Dr Edidia.
      Herpes and HPV being Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) can severely restrict one’s social and love life. Many people suffering from these conditions choose to remain silent, thus living a life filled completely with loneliness and frustration. But life isn’t over yet. You can not only find support with millions of other people with the same condition. I bring to you good news that can get you a permanent cure through real and effective herbal cure.He cured me and could cure you too, here is Dr Edidia contact
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      blogs pages https://naturaltreatmentherpes.blogspot.com/ https://besherpestreatment.blogspot.com/ https://dredidiaherbalhome.blogspot.com/ 

      I,m rosesharon and you can get intouch with me via rosesharon915@gmail.com  also view website to know him.

      Delete
  3. Thanks to lady cafai for helping me shrink my fibroid and also helping me get my second child after 8 years of trying to conceive,i was told by lady cafai that i don't need to go through operation before getting the fibroids out, but with the herbal remedy that was administered to me, the fibroids was no longer found and with the herbal remedy which made me conceive without further delays now am with child. once again thank you lady cafai for everything you have done. i highly recommend female herbal medicine lady cafai to ladies having issues of fibroid and also trying to conceive@ whatsapp messenger +15183519658/ visit the website http:// ladycafaiherbalcenter.com @ ladycafai@yahoo.com..

    ReplyDelete
  4. I made a very big mistake fighting my husband, just because he ask me to give him a child after 9years of our marriage. This created a distance in our relationship, and our marriage was falling out of controlling, but the truth is that i was telling him the right thing, that when the time comes we have our baby. and one day he say to me that he can not do this any more, that is over. This was killing me and i was really hurt because I feel like I am going to lose him for another women. We have been together for 9years, i don’t know what to do any more. but today all thanks to Priest Babaka of babaka.wolf@gmail.com that cast a spell and also send a pregnancy seed and oil down to me to drink and i was able to get pregnant. this make my husband happy and come back home. what will i have done if not for Priest Babaka roots and herbal Supplements he gave to me. if you are having problem getting pregnant or having relationship issue contact Priest Babaka via email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka for help.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My name are Latiesha Bell my great testimony on how i conceive With the help of a man called Dr Zico I was able to get pregnant. I'm 39, it was really difficult for me to conceive, I was diagnosed with PCOS and premature ovarian failure but after many years of trying, I came across Dr Zico whose email address is zicoherbalhome@gmail.com, I bought a pregnancy herbs (natural ingredents ) from him and he sent it to me through UPS and after I used it as he instructed, I fall pregnant two weeks latter I'm 7 months pregnant now. Also I will like to advice anyone looking for help to get pregnant to contact this very man, his prayers/guidelines and herbs are effective. his email address: zicoherbalhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. It’s obvious some patient with HERPES/HIV/CANCER are been enslaved to the antiviral and other supplementary Orthodox medicine just to help suppress the virus and not a cure. I have been with the virus since 2012 until I was introduce by a blogger who also narrated her story online on how she was cured of Genital Herpes after using Dr odoma herbal Medicine. This is a year and 2 weeks since I was delivered from Herpes. All thanks to God for using this Great herbalist to heal me. I have promise to keep telling good about Dr odoma  Please fill free to share Your problems with him and don’t forget to tell him I did refer you to Him. Thanks. Write him on gmail drodomasolutionhome20@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +2348100649947. He deals with Alzheimer virus, Copd, Cancer HIV Herpes Genital warts ALS BV UTI Virginal infection Genital Wart HPV Hepatitis A/B Good luck HSV Pregnancy Ex back 

    ReplyDelete
  7. HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
    +2347064365391 . Dr.Osasu also cures: 1. HIV / AIDS 2. HERPES 1/2 3. CANCER 4. ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 5. Hepatitis B

    ReplyDelete
  8. HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
    +2347064365391 . Dr.Osasu also cures: 1. HIV / AIDS 2. HERPES 1/2 3. CANCER 4. ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 5. Hepatitis B

    ReplyDelete
  9. HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
    +2347064365391 . Dr.Osasu also cures: 1. HIV / AIDS 2. HERPES 1/2 3. CANCER 4. ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 5. Hepatitis B

    ReplyDelete
  10. HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
    +2347064365391 . Dr.Osasu also cures: 1. HIV / AIDS 2. HERPES 1/2 3. CANCER 4. ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 5. Hepatitis B

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am John Danilla from UK( northern ireland), i want to share a
    testimony on how a powerful spell caster cured my HIV disease, i was
    diagnosed of this disease, in the year 2009, last week i saw a testimony on
    Dr.Akioya on how he cured an HIV patient, so i contacted him through phone
    and he asked me to email him, which idid, so he told me that all my
    problems is over and then he decided to do an healing spell spell for me so
    after he finished it, he told me to wait for just 24 hours and then i
    should go for a test, so i really did as he had said, so my greatest
    surprised when i went to the hospital to go for an HIV test, the Medical
    doctor diagnosed that, i am now HIV negetative at first i was amazed and
    now i have come to realise that this spell caster Dr. Akioya is a very
    powerful one and a real spell caster. So viewers of this should please join
    me in my celebration for i am the happiest man on earth today and if you
    want to contact him, you can do this via his email
    (drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com or call him or whatsapp him
    +2348105257464. or you can visit is website;
    http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
    https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. Life has not been so easy for me, i almost gave up on getting cured of HSV2 because i have tried many treatment and still don't work for me, so i was going place to place just for me to search for herbs cure or any solution to my problem and i also have three kids to take care of, that same period my husband die in an accident on it way coming home so life was very tough for me, so when i was going through the herbs site to find a cure for my problem i saw a story about a lady testify about DR.Imoudu, so i said to my self let me give a try to see if my problem can be solved, because i have spend alot of money In the hospital and their was no cure for it, so i contacted DR.Imoudu that afternoon of it and he gave me instruction how i will go about it and he sent me a herbal medicine which I took according to the way he instructed me to do. After taking the medicine for two weeks i saw a changes on my body, then i called the Dr and told him about it and he said i should go for test. i can't believe when my result came out it was negative, i was very happy to share this great testimony to the world there is real cure for #herpes you can also contact DR.Imoudu Email: DR.IMOUDUHEALERTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM also WhatsApp him +2348109609753..
    He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases;
    Diabetes, Lupus, Gout, Hepatitis A,B, Infertility, HIV/AIDS, CANCER, WART,ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILEPSY/HPV CURE/LOOSE WEIGHT AND BODY/EX-BACK/stroke


    ReplyDelete
  13. i already gave up on ever getting cured of HSV2 because i have try many treatment none of them work out for me i have go to different hospital they always tell me same thing there is no cure for herpes when i came across a post about Dr ohunyom, in the net from a lady called Angela i contacted him and he reassured me with him herbal medicine which i took according to the way he instructed, that how i was cured. I doubted at first because i have been to a whole lot of reputable doctors, tried a lot of medicines but none was able to cure me. so i decided to listen to him and he commenced treatment, and under two weeks i was totally fee from #Herpes. i want to say a very big thank you to DR ohunyom for what he has done in my life. feel free to leave him a message on email drohunyom@gmail.com and also WhatsApp him +2349060579973..
    He can still be able to help you with this herbs medicine:
    1...ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILESY/HPV CURE/LUPUS/HEPATITIS/CANCER/GOUT  

    ReplyDelete