Thursday, October 30, 2014

Letting you in on our secret

So, I'm just going to come out and say it with no preamble. I bed share. Now before you all jump up with pitchforks and torches, let me tell you a little bit about how and why we got here.

Before Arlo was born, I purchased a used co-sleeper to place right next to our bed, for what I thought would be just the first few months of his life. Then we would transition to his crib...across the his own room. You know what they say about the best laid plans right? 

For the first few months he did sleep in his itty bitty co-sleeper, right next to the bed. But as he got older and bigger (this child came into the world at 23.75" long for crying out loud!) the co-sleeper was no longer an option. We tried the pack & play, but he was so low to the ground that it made night time feedings difficult and he did not go back to sleep easily in that contraption. So I pulled that beautiful baby into the bed with me. Safely and cautiously I might add. There are loads of resources on how to safely bed share with your littles and I highly recommend Dr. Sears' website if you want to learn more. 

Here we are and Arlo is almost 9 months old and we are still happily bed sharing. He still naps in his crib each day and when I put him down for the night around 7:00, he goes to sleep in his room in his crib (I don't feel safe leaving him alone in our room on the bed without me, and momma and daddy need our evening downtime/alone-time). When he wakes around 10:00 I scoop him up, soothe him and bring him to bed.  We both get the most sleep this way and it works for our family.

So why the blog post? I have been keeping this largely a secret because of the strong opinions bed sharing often elicits and I'm quite frankly tired of it. So I decided to out myself. I'm a bed sharer, and I love it. I love sleeping next to the sweetest little chunk of baby there ever was. I love getting 5 - 7 hour stretches of sleep, rolling over, feeding him re-diapering him, and both of us dozing back off for another stretch of snooze until it's time to wake up for the day. I love feeling close to my little man and meeting his physical and emotional needs at night time without having to stumble bleary-eyed across the house.

This is not an attempt to convert anyone to bed sharing. If sleeping separately works for you, I think that's awesome. As I've said before, I think the best decisions you can make as a parent are the ones that keep you and your family happy and healthy. Bed sharing just happens to do that for the Gages.

I don't know how long we will do this. Each night he sleeps a little longer in his crib before crying out for me, and I think he may be ready to let go of his night-time feeding soon. When that happens, we may make the leap to his own room, but until then we snuggle safely in our bed and I don't care who knows it.


  1. I did it, too, and never regretted it! The big fears are SIDS and suffocation, but most moms would know how to position the baby to prevent those things, ya know?!

    1. I agree, Angie! I feel much more attuned to his breathing/positioning/etc. than I would with him separated from me. I'd probably just stalk the monitor all night. :)

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